Nearly twelve years ago, I found myself questioning my religion, as surely many of us have. I was confused at the things I was hearing from the churches and preachers; I was alarmed at how the God I was told was so loving and all encompassing could approve the downright cruel, hateful, and oppressive things preachers shouted from their pulpits.

 

I was also an imaginative youth, with worlds brewing in my mind that I didn't have the knowledge or skill to write into books (just yet). And when I heard that there were religions out there that were more open and free, that had magic as a real thing you could do in this world, I was thrilled. Enamored at the very idea of magic alone.

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So I went searching. I discovered religions like Wicca, and I read what I could about it, even got my hands on Judika Illes' Pure Magic and read the whole thing. But as I read and learned, I found something wasn't quite right.

 

As it turns out, I was at a crossroads: wanting to stay close to the Christian God—to Jesus, Mary, the Holy Spirit, the Saints and angels, the entities I'd known and loved all my life even if the churches themselves spoke things that just didn't sit right—but not understanding how or why something like magic could be so evil, or why God would hate innocent people just for who they love, who they are, or anything like that.

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I had so many questions. About so many things: the world, magic, God, sin, hell, all of it.

 

After all, God made all these things that we use, like herbs and stones and the stars themselves, for a reason. Jesus was no stranger to what was called magic in his day, either: casting out demons, healing people with mud and incantations, and even raising the dead.

 

So I asked God myself: what is so wrong with this thing people are calling witchcraft today? How is it any different than what His own Son did, or any of the Apostles? What even separates magic from what everyone is calling miracle?

 

The answer, which I found through talking to God and trusting Him to lead me, blew my mind. It permanently changed how I approached my relationship with God, myself, and the world at large. That answer was: nothing.

 

Nothing is wrong with it. Nothing is different. And there's plenty of resources to say so, so go forth and learn, learn, learn.

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And then the dam broke. With the realization that one such thing like magic could be other than what it seemed, that it could even be a part of Christianity, I went searching for the truth about everything else, and I've been learning, discovering, and piecing together new bits of the tapestry of God's story ever since.

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To put it plainly, I have never felt more empowered and close to God since starting this path.

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But as anyone questioning or deconstructing their faith can imagine, it's a difficult journey to even start, never mind take, because of the many different ideas and philosophies surrounding religion (especially one as prolific as Christianity). It feels natural to me now, twelve years in, but I remember how hard I searched for any resources at all—how much soul searching, introspection, and conversation I had to have under my belt before I could understand how to read between the lines of magic and miracle.

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Robert Conner, in his book Magic in Christianity: From Jesus to the Gnostics, put it best: "magic is religion for the individual, and religion is magic for the masses."

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With all that in mind, and with all the things I've seen and learned, I'm here to help guide you on your path. My counseling services, custom resources, and learning plans can help you find your own way to God that's personalized, unique, and empowering—a way that tears down the barrier put between you and Him by the institution of the Church.

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Come along with me and learn just what your spiritual path can look like when you approach God exactly as you are, unafraid to ask all your questions and reclaim the spiritual power He gave you.

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